have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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