You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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