Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
