I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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