So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is wine microwaveable?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
