Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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