He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
