sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
