I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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