Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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