I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
