dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
