You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sext me about skeletons
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
