Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
