Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
