So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
