yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
