Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pants are for mortals
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
