Don't make out with my wife yet
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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