I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need water and some morals
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
