I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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