I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
