i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
