1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
