you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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