lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Couch. On fire.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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