Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
