I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
