I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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