can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
