I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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