oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
