Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your cock deserves a montage
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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