plz talk dirty to me
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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