between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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