that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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