I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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