New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
