I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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