I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
