oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
