I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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