just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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