You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
