Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
