just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
