remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I met the friendliest cop last night
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
