I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
