Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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