i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
