I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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