And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
