you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize