I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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