I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
