I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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